Hey Kareen, How do I gracefully manage conflict?

It's hard managing conflict, but it is one of the best things to master. The only thing you have control of in a conflict is how you choose to react.

Step 1 is to check yourself. Take a deep breath. Make sure your reaction in the moment is a reaction to the current moment. Most likely you are being triggered by a past trauma. It is critical to be present and log that you got triggered, but don't make that trigger lead you. Assess exactly what you believe the best possible outcome is for this conflict and write it down.

Step 2 is to check in with the opposing party. Ask if you can regurgitate back to them their POV on the topic and make sure you understand it fully before you respond. A lot of times I have seen conflict come from miscommunication. You need clarity on each stance to understand if you are at an impasse or if you are able to find a common end to the disagreement. 

Step 3 propose a solution. If you hyper focus on where you differ, you won't be able to move forward. Propose a solution and ask for a counter proposal if they don't agree so you can move forward with ease.

Whatever you agree to, make sure you get it in writing and have both people agree to the end result. Apply these three steps to any conflict in the future, and you are guaranteed a faster resolve with less resentment and frustration on the other side. If you believe you can come to an amicable solution, then you will.